A Personal Story..

When I look at these photos, I see more than just my body doing cool shit — I see the difference between my external and internal environment.

I’ve always had a lot going on internally. For a long time, I thought that made me too much. But I’m starting to see now — maybe that depth is actually a gift.

I dove into CrossFit back in 2021, and even looking at older photos, the moves look just as impressive. My body has always been capable of incredible things. But what’s changed isn’t just my technique or strength — it’s what’s happening inside.

Back then, I remember the panic. The anxiety. The self-criticism, the doubt, the constant fear I wasn’t enough. Even while I was getting fitter, I often felt like I was failing. My identity was so wrapped up in CrossFit that it didn’t feel like a choice — it felt like a requirement.

This past competition was different. Yes, my teammates were amazing. Yes, the community was beautiful and supportive. But the biggest shift wasn’t outside me — it was within.

For the first time, I didn’t let my thoughts control me. I watched them, observed what came up, and kept choosing to be present. I felt so much gratitude for the years of effort, reps, and growth that got me here — not just physically, but emotionally.

Over the past three months, I actually quit CrossFit. I started asking my body each day:“How do you want to move today?”Some days it wanted stillness. Other days it wanted lifting, or walking, or dancing, or nothing at all. And instead of forcing, I just listened.

Letting go of structure was wildly uncomfortable at first. I didn’t know how my body would change, how to dress it, what I liked, or even who I was without a goal to chase. But slowly… I’m discovering someone I really love getting to know.

I’ll still hit CrossFit workouts, I’ll still bodybuild, I’ll still move — but now it’s from a place of alignment. Of curiosity. Of trust in my own inner wisdom.

Right now, I’ve fallen out of love with the barbell. And that’s okay. Maybe I’ll fall back in love with it. But it’ll have to feel natural. Not forced. That means continuing to let go, and allowing whatever wants to unfold, unfold.

This next chapter feels like one big adventure — and I’m here for all of it.

#Reflection #InternalShift #MindBodyConnection #GrowthInMotion #NewChapter #courageous #curiosity #ontothenextchapter #transition #transformation #authenticSelf